Three years ago I was forced to take a medical retirement. I should be settled into my new life, but nothing can be further from the truth.
Since being forced onto medical retirement I have dived into a plethora of volunteer roles. Along with this, I have attempted to work as a freelance writer.
Right now I hold four volunteer roles, and I feel absolutely useless. I have yet to find my sweet spot. Some of my roles fill my soul whereas one in particular makes me want to drink. The role I LOVE is the adoption event coordinator for The Humane Animal Rescue Team. The events are so much fun and what I appreciate the most is the fellow volunteers. It is obvious that there is one reason that people volunteer at the events. It's all about the dogs and the commitment to animal rescue, I have so much admiration for those who go out on the rescue missions. They see things that I am too weak to see.
Now I desperately need a new purpose. I have even entertained the idea of going back to work. It's hard to acknowledge the fact that doing this will only cause my disease to progress faster. There's a lack of self-esteem that comes with not earning your paycheque. I had career ambitions that will never come to fruition. My life did not go as planned and that sucks.
Now I have to take a serious and honest look at myself. What am I good at? What are my skills? I'm becoming increasingly disillusioned with writing. I've applied for many positions with very little success.
It's time to get over what was, my dreams and ambitions and move on. The biggest question is how?
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